Leukemia Update

My numbers are FINALLY going back up!

This has been a rough round. It knocked me down pretty hard and for a whole week longer than I expected. After meeting with my oncologist, I learned that the treatments can compound on top of each other and that was very evident this round. Last week, the week I thought I’d be “back to normal”, my counts were still significantly low where I had to get 2 platelet transfusions, and my sickness-fighting numbers were still at zero (dangerous levels). I battled a low-grade fever most of the week (though never hit 100.5 so I didn’t have to get hospitalized – that’s God’s grace), body aches, freezing cold, gums swollen, weak, fatigued, nauseous, all the side effects one would expect with chemo. One night I just lost it and told Dan I just couldn’t keep doing this. But you know what? You wake up the next morning and you do. Because that’s what you have to do. That’s what God has given me breath for. And it was through His power I got through those days!

Finally on Friday, my counts started to show some signs up going up, which was relieving because of the sheer amount of sickness going around. With having heart failure too, influenza isn’t good for Kristin either. Kind of a two-fer issue we’re dealing with. Last week I may have been fighting something with how off I felt, but the doctor knows that the chemo can cause all of that too. So needless to say, I am not looking forward to my next round. To imagine doing this again? How?

But I remember saying that last time too. How I just dreaded going back, dreaded feeling the way I did again, and dreaded being gone again. Though once that week hit, I was READY. Ready to keep fighting. Always a tearful week, but one that God has faithfully sustained me through. I struggle going back because I’m still fighting through this last round, but I know I’ll be good once January 3 hits. Christmas will be a welcomed break, time with Mazy during Christmas break will be what my heart needs before I’m gone for a week, and then it’ll be go-time.

I am finally able to see people again, so stepping back out into public has felt so good. My how I take daily life for granted when I feel good like stepping into a grocery store, running an errand, seeing family and friends, and going to church! Until I can’t. Oh the life lessons God continues to teach me through leukemia and heart failure. The days are hard, but the weeks do fly by.

And there is no giving up. As our family motto goes, “Sterks don’t give up.” Ask Mazy about it sometime, we are pretty adamant about that in our house :)! No way I’m giving up either. This road has been very difficult, but God’s mercies have truly been new every morning. Promises that seem so flippant when life is comfortable, but when you cling to truths like this one, it makes God all the more tangible and real. What would we do without Him? All for His glory.