Desires and Grace

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. {Psalm 37:4}

Yesterday I shared about what brought us to Minnesota, the journey it was to get there, and the people we came as. We came to Minnesota not knowing fully what we needed. We came broken and even more so, needing the Savior.

As I continue to think about our time here in MN, in looking back over the past 4 years, we see God’s hand literally at work in every part of our life. It is safe to say that we are completely different people, than when we first came to Minnesota. And let me assure you, in all good ways, though we are still the crazy Sterks!

Dan and I both have a passion for deeper relationships with people and youth. We enjoy just “hanging out.” If we are bored, we often say, “who should we hang out with?” You don’t need to give us flashing lights on a stage at a concert or an expensive meal. We just like to hang out. Well, I think we can both safely say that we have felt that accomplished on many levels. I had the opportunity to coach for 2 years, and what a gift that was. I enjoyed it so much that I hope to do it again someday when Mazy is a bit older. Dan has had the opportunity to build genuine relationships with youth group kids and even help teach health class at the local Christian school. Sunday nights at our house were meant for those deeper relationships, as we all “watched” an NFL game together, while just hanging out. Times we treasure.

When we left our previous church, we were not sure we could ever build deep connections like we had again. We desired that closeness with youth and let me tell you, God once again, gave us the desires of our heart. In a month we will be leaving the youth here and starting new relationships with the youth at North Street. Though this time we won’t question whether we will have those “hang out” moments or deeper connections because we have faith that God will provide that in HIS timing, since we know that He has called us there.

Then there is Mazy. How can I talk about her without talking about God? Impossible.

The night before my heart checkup in May 2014, Dan did a youth group lesson on this very verse from Psalm 37. The thing is, it wasn’t necessarily a lesson solely telling youth how to live life, but was more of a testimony from Dan. Dan had no ulterior motives behind it – the timing, at the time, was not significant. At all. It was just the lesson God put on his heart to share that night. Dan ended the lesson stating that if children were not what God had planned for us, he was at peace with it. He released it to God. Dan released the very thing he wanted in the worst way. He even publicly gave it God, through that lesson.

And you can now imagine what happened a little more than 12 hours later.

I am not saying God always acts this quickly – in fact, God acts in “God” time – not human time.

As we started to discuss the results of my heart ECHO, the doctor proceeded to tell us that the leaking in my valve was only leaking mildly. Dan inched up on his chair, asking the doctor “well what does that mean for pregnancy?” Six words changed the course of our life:

“I see no problem with it.”

On March 17, 2015, sweet Mazy Grace Sterk was born. Named after God’s amazing grace – a grace we to this day, still cannot fathom. A grace so abounding in love, that we are still drawn to tears. Get me talking about how God is working in our life and you just might see me tear up. Just a fair warning.

I am not saying that the Bible has this perfect formula built into it because even formulas put God in a box, but God has made it clear. When we used to read Psalm 37:4, we didn’t believe the promise in there because we always read the second part, first. Oh how easy that is to do. And I am NOT saying that we are “delighting ourselves in the Lord always.” Trust me, I have a whole lotta work to do when it comes to my relationship with God.

But I have found that when we have given up what we want, what we want circumstantially, and just rest in the peace of God, His will becomes ours. After I had Mazy, all I wanted was my family. I cried. A lot. Just ask Dan. Though God taught me that He gave me a family – the broader family of Christ and I just had to let them in my life. God also taught me that I had to give up my desire to move back to MI right then and there because our mission in MN was not done. Once I finally did, I could not have been happier. Of course I still longed to see my family more often, but it was manageable and I felt the peace that surpasses all understanding. That God-peace that only He can give.

And I have a whole lot MORE to give up, people. I truly do. I have worries that I need to release to God. I have stresses that I have no need carrying because God’s got it figured out. All God asks me to do is delight in HIM. That looks different for everyone, but I know for me, that means releasing control and releasing time into HIS hands.

When I give up my worries, like finding a house in Zeeland, God seems to shock us with something MORE than perfect. When I stay in tune with God at a deeper level, things just seem to make more sense.

Like I said, I have a lotta learning to do, folks! I will be the first to say that I need to keep seeking that deeper relationship with God. Because when I do, life just makes more sense, doesn’t it?

What in your life, doesn’t make sense? What are you holding on to, too tightly? As things come to mind, start releasing and naming them to God. THAT is delighting yourself in Him.

Now I am going to stop typing and do the same…