Experiencing Life Together Through Mentoring

One of the biggest joys of youth ministry is seeing kids grow. Yet one of the most humbling is realizing how much they have helped ME grow. Never would I have thought that to be the case (oh how naive a thought that is :)). The things that Dan and I need to remember when hanging out with kids are the same things we need to be remembering every single moment of the day.

Our goal is to see kids grow in their faith. That is such a general and vague goal, yet so much is packed into it. Digging deep into their lives to see where they are physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, can be a big task. Yet at the same time, I cannot ask those questions unless I myself know where I AM at.

General questions can be asked “how is life?” You really don’t know what is going to come with the answer to that question – that is why I need to make sure that I myself know how life is going.

Things to ponder:
1. What has been good about this week?
2. What has been difficult about this week?
3. What has been difficult being a Christ-follower?
4. How have I tackled these challenges/how did God’s Word guide me?

And then…am I honest about these questions with our kids? The word that comes to mind with all this is MENTORING.

Mentoring isn’t necessarily teaching. That is why it isn’t called TEACHING. Mentoring involves a two-way street I think. (Though I would say a quality teacher is a mentor too :)). Mentoring means listening to what someone has to say, reflecting with that person on those thoughts, but also giving insight into my life. Really, it’s like a FRIENDSHIP, only with maybe a few more boundaries. Dan and I have really been about this process, though I don’t think we’ve necessarily used this word “mentoring.” Though we may not be able to hit as many kids, but we are trying to do the quality vs. quantity. Hanging out with kids for longer periods of time just open up that avenue for mentoring that much more. And it allows us to be open and honest about who WE are. Recently Dan did a lesson that is kind of hard to forget (I’m going to spare names and details – email me if you want the full story) :). But over the past couple of weeks, kids have been mentioning little details about this lesson (with them probably not even realizing how it has impacted them). But Dan asked some tough questions to them – and apparently those questions have stuck!

I think that is what mentoring does too – it asks the questions that no one dares to ask or maybe has never asked before. But without a relationship, it’s tough to ask those questions. I would say I wouldn’t even be “worthy” to ask those questions b/c they don’t owe me anything! I have given them no reason to answer those questions truthfully and honestly. That is why youth ministry is all about relationship and helping these kids grow in their faith.

And how does this relationship building happen? Through experiencing life together. Like I said earlier, it’s the quality vs. quantity. By all means I’m not advocating to leave out “people.” What I am saying that genuine relationships come from experiencing life together – that allows those tough questions to be asked and those tough questions will probably be ANSWERED if they are given TIME.

So in all of this (this thing called LIFE), I have grown so much. Our kids have helped me realize that I need to be able to be real – experience life with them, be who I am, all while making sure that I am staying in the Word. I can’t sit here and ask them these questions if I don’t do it myself! That is why I praise God for the ministry God has put us in – we are undeserving and sinful creatures, trying to live a Godly life by walking alongside others in the same journey as us.

So who can you be a “mentor” to? Who is that person you need to ask the tough questions to? And most of all, can you ask yourself those questions and be honest with yourself? Remember that God has placed people into your life for a reason – jump on the opportunities to experience life together with someone – you may never realize the impact that it may have!