Life Back At Home
It’s sometimes hard to put into words the adjustment it takes to come from being in the hospital for a longer period of time. In a way, we all get in a groove, in the circumstances God has given us. Me in the hospital, Mazy and Dan living it up at home. Then I come home and it’s a readjustment all over again, only that mommy isn’t able to do as much as she used to. It’s an adjustment for all of us, which requires another “new groove”. Of course I wouldn’t trade being home for anything, but the realities of the ever-changing circumstances surrounding my heart failure, isn’t always easy. It has taken some time for Mazy to adjust. We’ve had a few tears…maybe she feels she can release the emotions she’s held onto while I was gone? Maybe she grieves that mommy isn’t like she was? Maybe it’s just all too much for a 7-year-old? And honestly, I think that’s what it mainly is. This poor girl has just gone through so much, yet we are so proud of her! She continues to amaze us with her bravery and faith. But as with any ever-changing circumstance, it is an adjustment for all.
Here’s a picture that Dan took of her waiting for me to come home. Still makes me tear up!
A sweet little sign from my sweet Mazy grace!
This dog knew something was up…she did not leave my side when I got home! Sat or laid by my feet the whole time. What love!
One hard thing about coming home from the hospital is that when you come home, you still have some healing to do. As much as I would love to just run off to the park with Mazy, take a walk around the block, or ride our bikes downtown, I can’t do that yet. This sweet girl though, has the most creative mind! And thanks to Dan and his genius ideas, we were able to be outside together, despite the rain, and color, read, and catch up. She even made special little drinks for us! This girl better work with people when she grows up because her level of compassion, empathy, and love is incredible. This girl makes all the frustrations, sadness, and feelings of being overwhelmed dissipate, purely by just being her. She is such a gift! And not to mention, Dan has been incredible, like he always is during these crazy times!
How are things going since I got home? It’s been a bit tricky. My body isn’t loving all of the med changes that were made, but we had to give the changes a try at home. In the hospital, it is a very unrealistic setting, so the best thing to do is give it a whirl at home. We quickly found out that my blood pressure is quite low and I’m experiencing some strange, yet somewhat expected symptoms from the new med and the med changes. Thankfully it is better than it was, but I struggled to walk normal/straight, was very lightheaded, confused when I talked (words didn’t always make sense), and shaky hands. We have some tweaking to do yet, but hopefully over time, we can get some of this ironed out so that I don’t have to land in the hospital for quite some time again. Thankfully my teams at Michigan are keeping a close eye on me, so hopefully as time goes on, I can feel more like Kristin again. I have been able to get out a bit more, which feels SO good and so far, so good! They want me to be “active”, yet make sure I don’t do too much. My friends, this is SO HARD.
I ran an errand today and it went fine, but I had to constantly tell myself to walk SLOW. This is so not my nature, but anytime I walk too fast, my heart tells me. And so trying to live this new life, is so not my nature or my desire, but it now is. We will get there! I think I may need to do some studying on how to do this :).
Again, thank you for all of your support and love through this all! It’s a long road ahead and we know we can’t do it alone, but God has given us THE BEST support system! We praise God for you all!
