My Growth Spurts

My greatest “growth spurts” in life, have happened in the most difficult of times.

I don’t know if you can say the same for yourself, but for me, I know that it is in the storms of life, that I have learned the most and have grown the most.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in life has been learning to LET GO. I know you may get sick of me talking about this very subject because I know I talk about it often. Or for me, it seems like I do.

I can be selfish. I want things that God has not given to me. I want things that God has given, but has taken back. I have the hardest time giving up what God has not given. I have the hardest time LETTING GO.

I make it difficult for myself, really. I try to hang onto things that I will never get back. I wish certain things back. I wish certain situations back. I wish, I wish…

What do you wish? What do you desire that God has not given you?

I feel so selfish in saying some of those things because what I am essentially saying is that I know better than God. Boy am I wrong in that! I think I know what is best – but I clearly do not. I don’t always understand everything that happens in my life, nor am I “okay” with everything either. But what I do know is that God knows what He is doing. Of course I wish our babies back. But at the same time, I know we would not be in Minnesota, if we had our babies with us. And I know that Minnesota is where we are supposed to be. I can feel that and I believe that. I have to learn to just let go.

Learning to let go of what God has NOT given, is just as hard at times. It is so easy to look at everyone around me and wish things for myself, that they have. Wish a certain opportunity. Wish a certain thing. Wish this, wish that. How selfish and self-righteous! In keeping up my organizing blog, I have really tried to come to grips with what it means to live with less. I am constantly reminded of how much abundance I have, and how little the world has. Ouch. It makes me sick. Dan and I talk often of how we can try to make a difference. But then the next day, we catch ourselves saying “well, if we had this…” Are you kidding me? We do not “need” THAT. I say all that because we are imperfect people, living in an imperfect world, trying to imitate a perfect God. We have a LONG ways to go!

I have been reminded over and over the past couple of weeks of Proverbs 4:23 which says: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (ESV) or “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV).

What comes out of my mouth, is a direct flow or look into my heart. Sure puts me on guard! That is why I am trying to learn to just let go – the things that I hold in “bondage” in my heart, are the things I am going to continually pursue or wish. Letting God reign in every corner of my heart, is exactly where I want to be – no selfish desires allowed!

A work in progress, living in grace. Praise be to God.