Never Alone

My aunt dropped this shirt off at our house this week and when Dan took a picture of it to show me, I immediately cried (shocker, I know). There are so many facets of leukemia that I never knew existed until I started to walk this journey.

Never in a million years would I have thought I would be wearing a shirt like this. Leukemia was a foreign word that I knew little about; and still do, even now having it. But one thing I have learned is that what this shirt proclaims…

IN THIS FAMILY, NO ONE FIGHTS ALONE.

I am so beyond loved by my biological family, but even by those I’ve never met. Think about all those we walk with in life – we NEVER walk alone. What I love about this shirt is that the leukemia sign is outlined with hearts, each heart having a piece of purpose in the journey. I think about all those that have helped us keep our own hearts in pace with our purpose in this leukemia journey. People who encourage us to stay the course and keep looking for the purpose of God in every step.

I stand here with a PICC line in my arm, wires in and outside of my body that could run an electrical plant, and the craziness of a woman who’s been stuck in between the walls of a hospital for almost 2 weeks. Truth be told though, I still haven’t been bored…I suppose this is why hospitals aren’t listed high in the ranks for vacation spots. I wouldn’t call it relaxing…

Anyways, not only do we never walk alone on our journeys…

We also can’t live this life alone.

We were created to be in community and every day we have the privilege of seeing that being played out if we are willing to look for it.

I’m still in the introduction chapter of this textbook called leukemia, but one thing I have learned is that having a blood cancer, it requires hospitalization due to the type of cancer it is. The blood takes a serious hit, which can cause many side effects/other issues, if not addressed immediately. For instance, the average hemoglobin level (give or take a few) is around 15. Well, this morning, mine was 5, which meant I was running on a 1/3 of a tank of gas as the doctor put it. I then required 2 bags of red blood cells to kick this body back in gear; meanwhile, it was 7 yesterday. Same with my platelets…so low that I needed two transfusions to get it back to healthier levels. I sometimes feel like I’m living on the IV pole to keep my body going, whether it be supplements, antibiotics, chemo, or transfusions. It amazes me what the body can endure, to keep going.

God made our bodies so intricate that the slightest deviation from “normal” can throw it into complete havoc. And that is what it is happening with my leukemia. I am realizing that God made my body so intricate, that the slightest deviations from “normal”, has my body screaming for help. And that’s when I need His people and His community to help me fight this.

A few days ago, my hemoglobin was low and so I was asked if I would be okay with a blood transfusion (common protocol for leukemia). I’ve actually had a transfusion in the past due to my severe heart failure, but again I was faced with a dilemma I could not solve on my own, but be at the mercy of others for. A donation of red blood cells.

Feel free to chuckle when I say that I have the “little red heart” symbol on my driver’s license to be an organ donor. Take EVERYTHING, but my heart, PLEASE :). Although one look in and I think they’ll know I meant everything but. When this bag of blood was lifted to be hung on my IV pole, my literal life-line at the moment, I noticed the words, “Volunteer Donor” written on the label.

There is someone out there, who gave up their time, resources, and even their own BLOOD, so that I could keep going. Fast forward to today, when I received not one, but TWO bags of blood because my body couldn’t go on without it. It was literally running out of gas. And someone chose to donate that blood, not for themselves or their own benefit, but for me.

I know, it’s just blood. But when you see that bag hoisted up, for YOU, knowing that you did nothing to earn it, but are at the mercy of someone else’s time and love, it brings your own life down a notch and makes you realize how we can never truly walk alone.

And all the more, how our SAVIOR, shed HIS OWN BLOOD, ON A CROSS, so that we can live in communion with Him, for ETERNITY. The here and now is important, but He literally DIED so that we never have to worry about another bag of blood again. Now I’m not saying giving blood is the equivalent to what Christ did for us on the cross, but this analogy was such a gentle reminder of what we have the chance to do for others.

We have the opportunity to walk with others on their path so that no one walks alone. We are all in this journey together, journeying TOWARDS the same thing together, able to give of our time, talents, and resources, so that we can walk hand in hand, towards glory. An ultimate glory that will save ALL our lives, for eternity. There is no greater gift.

Even though I can’t give blood, I pray that God continues to show me ways that I can give of my time and resources for Him. Not that giving blood is the ultimate spiritual activity, but I think we sometimes forget how the small things can make the biggest difference. So whether you want to donate blood, send a card to someone in need, buy the drink of the person in front of you, or simply give a smile to someone who seems lonely, may that act of kindness remind you that you too, can never walk alone, and sometimes the smallest act, can make the biggest difference.