Opening Up: Embryo Adoption

As you’ve probably realized I haven’t been blogging as much as usual. Part of it has been the vacations and mission trip we have been on. The other part is we have been trying to figure the best way to talk about this subject. It has been something we have been so eager to talk about, yet know we are opening ourselvs up to even more opposition.

The subject? Embryo adoption

I have been a little silent on this subject because we have experienced some extreme opposition lately. Opposition that has caused us to rely completely on our faith in what God has called us to. I have not shyed away from talking about it because we fear more opposition. I have been silent because Dan and I have had to do a lot of praying over this subject – 9 months worth. So are we opening ourselves up for even more criticism and opinions? You bet we are. But we feel throughout this WHOLE process – everything from the carrier process, to the shots, to the paperwork, to embryo adoption – we want to be as open as we can about it so that others who may be going through the same or similar situation will know there are others who are going through the same thing. I have met some AMAZING people through this whole invitro process and have reconnected with people. (It sure is beautiful to be a part of the family of God!) And the biggest reason for talking about embryo adoption: God has written a story for everyone. I believe we are not meant to keep silent what God is doing because I feel we would be suppressing the GLORY GOD DESERVES. Dan and I feel God is calling us to donate our embryos. Do we fully understand why He has called us to this? No. In our fallen human minds, are we 100% comfortable with it? No. But in our FAITH and belief in GOD, are we comfortable with it? That is a 100% YES. We have never felt so confident, at peace, and so sure about something in our life. Are we open to God still closing the door? Yes. But God has yet to do that.

By talking about this, we understand that this is a very new subject. We understand that not everyone is meant to do this. We understand that some people highly disagree with this process. We understand that people are uncomfortable with it. But. We also know that if we were not in the situation we are in and someone told us they were going to do this, we would have to do some thinking about it too.

So this is another part of the story. It will probably take a few blog postings to talk about this process that has been 9 months in the making.

When we first learned about the process of invitro, we knew there was the possibility to allow God to create more embryos than just one at a time. We had decided to produce two (yes, we are still praying for TWINS!). As we were talking with our doctor, he had asked us if we thought about producing more? We told him no because we only want two. Then the words “donating, adoption, and embryos” came out of his mouth. Right away this HUGE wall went up in both of us. A wall full of selfish desires, fears, ignorance, and lack of faith. I vividly remember driving by the Hudsonville rest area and telling Dan there was NO WAY I was ever going to do that. He agreed. At yet another appointment, the subject of how many embryos came up and they had asked if we had thought about embryo adoption. In our minds, we were wondering why in the world they kept bringing it up to us?

Well, we told them no. So they said we could do egg freezing (cryopreservation). We thought that would be a great idea because then we wouldn’t have to do another egg retrieval, at that point, saving us a lot of money. But after prayer and realizing that the success rate of freezing eggs was low, we realized that we were not meant to do that. So THEN what, God? We were confused. So we revisited the thought of embryo adoption. At that point, we still just planned on creating two. Some think that the reason we are hoping to do embryo adoption is because of financial reasons. It was maybe the finanicial part that led us to consider egg freezing. But after much prayer, we realized that was not for us. Money is NOT the reason we feel led to do embryo adoption. We will be the first to say that is not the case. In fact, we have had to go through MORE testing and money in order to choose this route. The nurse told us that there was a 12-15 month waiting period for those who wish to adopt embryos. That is when our hearts broke. It is still hard to type that to this day. To know that there are others WAITING to have a natural birth and desire to be parents so deeply, yet are on a waiting list. We just realized that the more we prayed, the more we realized God was calling us to something we knew absolutely NOTHING about.

This is where 9 months of praying comes in.

This is just a tiny percentage of the story. There are parts missing. There is much more to come.

We know there are many ethical issues and decisions that need to be made around this process and opportunity. We know that even after reading this blog posting, your mind is probably racing with questions. Trust me, we had those same feelings months ago. They will make you uneasy. They will put into question your beliefs, faith, and moral values.

We are so eager to talk about this. We have been eager. We just had to wait for the right timing.

Stay tuned!