The End Is In Sight!
Sort of…
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO BEING IN THE HOSPITAL, THE END IS IN SIGHT!
The goal for tomorrow is for me to be DISCHARGED! To say I am excited would be an understatement! I haven’t seen Mazy in almost 3 weeks and that, by far, has been the toughest part of this journey. Yes, FaceTime is wonderful, but it’s a gentle reminder that we can’t be together and we just long to hold each other and talk face to face.
I am on Day +13 and couldn’t be more thrilled about it. I’m told I’m getting out on the earlier end of things, one day shy of 3 weeks, and yet at times it feels like I’ve been here an eternity. Other times it feels like these almost 3 weeks have just flown. So so much has happened, so much fighting going on mentally, emotionally, and physically, but here we are!
One big change that happened last week Thursday, when I was in the midst of my lowest of days blood count-wise, was realizing my hair was falling out. The day prior I noticed a few more strands in my hair brush, and the next day, I would comb my hair with my fingers and all sorts of hair came out. I decided it was time.
It was relatively anti-climatic and to be honest, I didn’t even shed a tear. I think I was so ready to get rid of it, as it was becoming an eye sore/reminder of what the treatments had done to my body. I was anticipating it the entire stay, that it almost came as a relief. So by getting rid of my hair, though now bald, it was one less reminder I had as my hair thinned. It is taking some getting used to, but when you are the person with the hair loss, you forget because you don’t see yourself, unless in front of a mirror. It’s everyone else around you that notices the drastic change.
My lovely nurse tech was willing to do the job, which meant a lot to me. And she did an excellent job at it as well. I kept telling myself that the same God who numbers the hairs on my head, is the same God in control of this whole cancer journey and that is what brought me comfort. God is in this story too. And for once, I now actually LOOK like a cancer patient. The prior 1 1/2 years, I have not, but now I sure do.
A look that I will have for quite some time! I’m hoping by wearing some makeup, it’ll help the look a bit, but one thing we did decide is that I look so much like my dad! I definitely have the Geurink genes when it comes to looks!
Here’s a more “normal” look for me these days…hat with a little makeup. Another piece of God’s perfect timing is the fact that it is winter out and so wearing a winter hat is very normal (even though I haven’t been outside in 3 weeks)! I don’t have to suffer through summer and now I’ll be WANTING to wear a winter hat!
And crazy old Kristin is just so excited to be going home tomorrow! Don’t say anything to Mazy if you see her, we are going to try and keep it a surprise because many things could change it up too. But we are hoping tomorrow is the day and that I’ll be home for GOOD.
Thank you all for your love and support during this journey! It was sometimes hard to convey everything that was happening here at the hospital and some of it felt very mundane to share. The mouth sores were probably my biggest concern (and I still have them, called mucositis), but slowly they are dissipating, and it feels so good. I was able to bypass some of the other major side effects that come with the chemo I was on, and that is ALL GOD. With how well I did, it wasn’t me, but God. With how smoothly things went, it wasn’t me, but ALL GOD.
Now come the appointments multiple times a week for 3 months, to ensure I am staying healthy and strong. It’ll be a lot, but it’ll be so much better coming from home, than having to stay in the hospital!
I’m eager to continue sharing our journey through this process and thank you following along. We know God is going to use this as a positive in His kingdom building process because that is what he does. He has been so gracious to us and so protective. We couldn’t thank him more!
You are beautiful with or without hair!
Thank you, Harriet!
Kristen. I think you are beautiful. Inside and outside. Hair or no hair!
Carol Nagelkirk
Thank you for your kind, words, Carol! I sure look different, but I’ve embraced the bald and am getting used to it now!