Truly A Girl’s Best Friend

On Thursday, we had to put down our sweet golden retriever, Maggie.

It was completely unexpected, as she was only 5 years old, but had felt like she had been with us for a lifetime.

The few days prior, she had been sick, but we didn’t think much of it. I decided to just get her checked out, to make sure nothing else was wrong. And that’s when it all fell apart. After blood tests and x-rays, we were sent to the local doggie ER and after repeat tests, it was evident she was dying from the inside out. At that time, we weren’t exactly sure what was wrong, but due to extremely low platelets and low blood counts, no treatment was an option due to risk of infection and bleeding internally, and so we had no choice, but to put her down.

After some research (all of this happened within 12 hours after finding out how sick she was), we learned that she might’ve had Evan’s Syndrome, which is an auto-immune disease that comes on EXTREMELY fast, but has a low survival rate, where your body thinks it has an infection, but doesn’t, and it attacks your blood cells. Sometimes it can stem from cancer, and maybe she had both, but it was evident her body was shutting down, as her stomach, pancreas, intestines, and even lungs were not working properly. We took her home one last night to spend a little more time with her, and then brought her back to the ER Thursday morning, to have her put down.

This came as a complete shock and words can’t express how devastating this has been to our Mazy. When I say they were inseparable, this is an understatement. If you know Mazy, you know about “her dog”. She was her world.

When we were looking for a golden retriever, my in-laws found a newspaper ad, no pictures, just a phone number. We called and after asking for pictures, soon learned it was a Mennonite family out in the middle of the state. We decided to make the drive and met these 2 girls. And by that time, my in-laws also wanted a puppy, so we picked up the last 2 of the litter. Maggie and Millie.

Those pups were SO TIMID (they were used to Mennonite living) when we first got them and wouldn’t budge off the couch, but even on the drive home, you can see ONE chose to accept Mazy’s love and that was Maggie. As Mazy says, “she imprinted on me.”

For Mazy’s entire life, she’s been obsessed with dogs. When she was just old enough to sit up, we bought her a used dog encyclopedia, and she would just sit and stare at pictures of dogs. Eventually she got one of her own – Maggie. One year, my mother-in-law made her a dog costume for Halloween and she LOVED to put it on and play doggie with the pups!

Oh the girls…when my in-laws came back from Texas, they took Millie home, and oh what FUN those girls had wrestling every time they got together!

It didn’t take long for Maggie and Mazy to become best friends. Dan and I could be home all day and Maggie would just sleep. But Mazy would come home and it’s like we had a new puppy. Maggie lived her life for Mazy. Where Mazy was, Maggie was. Maggie LOVED people and just wanted to be part of the action. And most of all, she loved so big. Yes she’d always sit right by you and get dog hair all over you, nudge her wet nose on your hand, or just walk around til SOMEONE would pet her, but as Dan said, she thought she was human. If you sat on the floor, she would sit IN your lap. She just wanted to be loved. And that is Mazy. Maggie offered Mazy a love that Dan and I couldn’t. The joy those two had together, until you are a dog owner, you can’t explain.

Maggie was notorious for stealing stuffies and shoes, but after she was a year old, never tore them up. She would just use them as pillows. Like Mazy did.

Maggie’s favorite treat was pizza crusts, and for some reason, that dog always knew when we had pizza!

I am not a huge indoor dog person, the hair is a bit much. But now that she’s gone, I didn’t realize how much she was a part of our lives and how much I admittedly talked to her. And how much SHE got me through. I spent so many months of my life recovering from something when Maggie was around, and she was ALWAYS right by me.

When I would come home from my numerous hospital stays, Maggie wouldn’t jump, wouldn’t overreact, but would just calmly come and sit on my feet, as to tell me, I’m protecting you. She knew I was “hurting” and just wanted to ensure I was okay. We all remember those moments and that dog just KNEW.

If you’ve been at our house in the summer, you know Maggie LOVED to play fetch with her ball in the pool. We called it “her game”. If we were going out to the pool, we’d say “ball, Maggie” and she’d grab her favorite ball and take it outside with her and drop it in the pool. While attempting to get one of her balls, Dan caught her falling into the pool to get it, which happened about 3-4 times a summer!

When I say Mazy and Maggie slept together, they were inseparable. This was EVERY NIGHT.

Maggie sure put up with a lot of Mazy’s antics, but she was just excited to be loved and so she let Mazy do whatever she wanted. We even have a video of when Maggie was quite young and Mazy doing the motions and singing “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” with her paws.

Maggie playing her game…

We know not everyone will understand the depth of loss Maggie is, as yes, she is a dog. But our hearts are so broken for Mazy, as she struggles not having siblings. As she said this week, when people ask if she has siblings, she says it’s hard to say no, but now she’ll also have to say no, to having a pet too. For the time being. We don’t know what’s next, maybe we will get another dog, but we first need to get through this.

We know dogs are just dogs, but we also feel they are a gift from God. And for our family, God blessed us with one of the best. God knew back in 2020, when we got her, the storms that lied ahead. I would be in and out of ablations, hospitalizations, and then cancer hit for 3 years. There were times when I was gone for weeks on end, which may not seem like a lot to some, but for a young girl, it was too much. Our family was separated far too often and the ONE constant, was Maggie. Maggie was always home. Maggie was always waiting at home when I wasn’t. Maggie always greeted her and waited for Mazy to take off her shoes so she could steal them. Maggie was there to snuggle, when I wasn’t. Maggie offered her companionship, when I wasn’t. Leaving me has always been such a struggle, but she said as long as I have Maggie or a dog, I think I’ll be good. And now she doesn’t have that either.

Mazy is so resilient. That girl has been through so much in her 10 years of life and she continues to come out the other side stronger and even MORE resilient. She feels SO BIG. Sometimes to a fault. She just desires to be loved and accepted. And shows compassion to a world who needs her. And many have said, God used Maggie to teach her how to do that. Maggie was the exact same way. God gave us Maggie when we needed it most. And now God feels we don’t need her anymore, which absolutely breaks our hearts as Mazy is inconsolably devastated at times. But this has offered the opportunity to talk about heaven, God’s perfect ways, and as Forrest Frank says, “Your Way’s Better”…we trust that God knows what He is doing and that He will give Mazy and us, the comfort she needs to stand alone again in the home. Maggie was her stand-in sibling and the depth of loneliness Mazy feels is hard to put into words, but we will get there.

It’s sometimes hard to understand why God allows what He does, as it feels like one blow after another in our family, and sometimes we feel we are hanging on by a thread, but God ALWAYS has a perfect purpose and we just pray that even in losing a pet, we can point people to God. Seeing Mazy hurt so deeply just wrecks Dan and I, but we know this too, will make her stronger and be part of her story.

It was going to be Maggie’s GOLDEN birthday on October 6, and Mazy was already planning a “party” for her. If you are close to Mazy, I’m sure you’ve heard about this already! She always says, I don’t have a brother or sister, but I can plan for Maggie’s birthday! And now she is gone – another loss. We can still celebrate her sister Millie, and this has taught her to just CELEBRATE no matter what the occasion – the people in her life. Mazy LOVES parties and any people gatherings, and so this has only spurred her on to just CELEBRATE. October 6 will just look a little different.

Oh Maggie Grace (that’s the name Mazy chose), Magsters, Margaret, Marg, large Marg, poocher smoother, you sure will be missed. And oh how you loved being called “pretty” :)!

Yep it’s a dog. But Maggie was so much more than a dog. She was an earthly gift from God. And we are so thankful God chose us to love her and her love us for 5 years.