Ultrasound Update
Whew! What a week!
It has been an emotional roller coaster for us. Sometimes I wonder if I am on the Top Thrill Dragster. Such highs and so many lows. Yet I wouldn’t trade one of them. Do I sometimes wish they would all go away at the time? Of course. I look back and realize that the person God is hammering away at, is not the same person I was a few weeks ago. A few months ago. A few years ago. The goal of my salvation is Christ – to be more and more of a reflection of Him. As God is hammering away, I can see how much He needs to keep working on me. That is why the Bible says “we are God’s workmanship.” Oh is that so true. God has used a lot of tools on me this week, but I know when the project is finished, when I face my Lord and Savior, my only prayer is that He can say “well done, good and faithful servant.”
We continue to face an emotional struggle. Yet we know that God’s working this situation out PERFECTLY. As I was driving home from my ultrasound today, God reminded me in the quietness of the car that HE is unchanging. The situation keeps changing. We keep changing. But GOD’S plan has remained the same. What that plan is? No clue. We have one week until we harvest my eggs and create embryos. We know God will create just the right number – the number perfect for HIS plan, not ours.
I have been busy going to ultrasounds and I still love them! Yes, I know love is a strong word, but I am using it. On Wednesday I found out I had 10 healthy eggs! I was so excited – they say a good harvest is between 10 and 12. Well, today they only found 5, with two smaller ones (to equal 7). I was a tad surprised that I lost 3-5 within two days. I talked with my nurse and she said it’s definitely normal to lose some – 5 is a low number, but they look good. I had thought that about the 10, that they looked good, so I am praying that these 5 stay put. That they continue to develop. We know with the whole embryo adoption, that yes, we would still LOVE to do that. Our first intent though, is to have a family of our own. We are PRAYING that we can still achieve this.
When me and God were having a conversation on the way home from the ultrasound, He reminded me that HE “gives and takes away” so Blessed Be His Name. God is the sole Creator of those eggs. He is the one who will knit together our embryos. Medical technology can only go so far. It doesn’t replace God in this situation. We are overwhelmed with the opposition that continues to go on, but we know that God is the God of it all. He is perfecting our faith. Thursday was filled with so many tears, but with many people praying, we have found peace again.
We praise God for that peace. We continue to pray that as we walk this journey, that we will walk it by faith, not by sight – that these 5 good eggs will continue to develop. We are SO thankful that my body has at least produced more eggs! How cool is that? I know, lame word (cool). But seriously. Think about that? That through shots, and my body’s reaction to the shots, that more eggs are created. Doesn’t that just boggle your mind? It sure does mind.
What a creative God we serve – that He has created people to THINK of that idea. Can you imagine sitting on your couch and thinking “huh, I wonder if I can produce more eggs than the body normally does?” Honestly, those questions don’t come across my thinking pattern very often. But I sure am glad that it has in others. I will gladly and respectfully be the recipient of those thoughts :).
Tomorrow off to another ultrasound! I’m thankful actually (even though it’s a Saturday) because I want to make sure those 5 are still snuggled up in there. And maybe those other two will somehow come more to life!
And…hopefully next Friday will be the BIG DAY!
