40 Lessons I Learned Along the Way

It’s funny how currently, I live one block from the hospital I was born at. Now granted, it is no longer a hospital, but a large brick building that has become the administrative home for many ministries. And we often joke that as a family of 3, we were all born in different states. Dan was born in Virginia, I was born in Michigan, and Mazy is a product of Minnesota.

As I think back on the past 40 years of my life, I sit back in reflection with gratitude and wonder. How did we get here? How did 40 years fly? And yet here I am. I live in the town I was born in, but landed here in a roundabout way. I am married and have one earthly child, with two in heaven. I’ve fought heart disease for years and now cancer twice. But I am HERE. And this folks, is only by the grace of God. ALL of our lives are lived by the grace of God alone. In thinking about the past 40 years, I want to share some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way, from childhood until now. Many of them, thanks to my parents. This is not an exhaustive list, by all means. Just a few that came to mind. I hope you can find yourself relating to some of them and maybe even agreeing, but most of all, I hope they put you in awe of our all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God:

1. Sometimes God shuts our eyes to reality. As a baby, I spit up a lot and was born blue. My heart was listened to, several times along the way, but it was in God’s divine plan that my initial heart issue wasn’t found til I was 17.
2. God has given us His creation to enjoy. I remember my parents telling us to go play outside as kids. It was one of the best directions I was given – that’s where my love for the outdoors started. Thank you, Mom and Dad!
3. There is beauty in physical labor, even though we live in a world that is trying to make everything more efficient. Farming taught me a different level of faith and hard work.
4. Sundays are meant to be sacred and set apart. To this day, I still find myself taking a “quiet” time and resting from the normal activities in life. Let this day be different.
5. Be friends with everyone. I always had my “close friends”, but was taught to love everyone, no matter what hallway of the high school they had their locker on. To this day, I’m thankful for all the many people I have in my life, as they have all given life to me in some way.
6. Listen to your educators and coaches. You will spend more time with these people than you may your parents on a given day. Let their wisdom and experience speak truth into your life.
7. Take that Sunday drive. After evening church, we often went on “drives” around the area. Looking back, that’s where I found my love for exploring God’s creation and seeing the simple in life. And drives are something I still enjoy to this day, even though I’ve driven by some areas a 1,000 times. There is always something new to see.
8. God’s will always wins. You can try and control your circumstances in life. but God’s ways always prevail. I thought I’d play basketball the rest of my life – God had a different idea.
9. Live optimistically. When you view life as “God having a good and perfect plan for your life”, it changes your perspective on everything. Because it’s true. Have a positive attitude.
10. Encourage. Saying something positive to someone just may be the thing they need to keep going that day. An encouraging note can go a long ways. My friend Brenda, has taught this well.
11. Do what you love. I have many hobbies I enjoy; take the time to do them.
12. Keep reading. I struggled with comprehension growing up and therefore, despised reading. Now? I love and need it. Keep enriching and growing your mind.
13. Go on a walk. Maybe it’s only around the block. Maybe it’s to the doorstep of your hospital room. And maybe it’s running a marathon. Health struggles have taught me it’s as much mental as it is physical. Attempting and trying is just as good as actually doing it at times.
14. Take pictures. Pictures remind us of God’s faithfulness and the journey He has led us on. They allow our kids to tangibly see His faithfulness as well.
15. Dance. Who cares what you look like? I love my Christian hip hop music…my moves look nothing like they should, but we sure have a good time in our house.
16. Listen. You never know what you could learn.
17. Delight yourself in the Lord. There is no greater joy to be found. This verse hangs in our home (Psalm 37:4).
18. Stand up for what you believe. For this is our call as Christians. Kneel to pray, but stand for Him.
19. Be present. Put everything aside and just BE with that person. I value sitting around the table as a family. You can learn so much about a person by just being with and present with them.
20. Live simply. Every item in your home should be used, stored, and taken care. If one of the 3 is missing, get rid of it.
21. Slow down. Then you’re forced to see things you may not see otherwise. This is something I need to constantly work on.
22. Be real. Just be you. I am a little odd and a little weird; typical middle child! People long for real people, real homes, and real lives. Be that for those around you.
23. Remember God’s faithfulness. I can trace God’s finger through my life. He not only has kept me physically alive through medical diagnoses, but he faithfully provides just what I need to get through a day.
24. God is never worried about the outcomes, so why do we? He already knows. Nothing surprises Him. Let’s trust Him with our futures.
25. Take life one step at a time. Sometimes figuratively and literally. God gives us just what we need for that next step. Don’t look too far ahead.
26. Walk by faith. And not by sight. Nor feelings. The song “Walk By Faith”, but Jeremy Camp, was sung at our wedding. That was no mistake!
27. Suffering and trying times help us realize how powerful our God really is. No ailment has power unless I allow it to have it. That has been cancer and heart failure for me. It only controls me as much as I allow it to.
28. Be thankful for each day. And even each breath. If you are here today, God has a mission for you on this day. Seek him and then seek it out. He will show you!
29. Be a learner. But be careful what you immerse yourself in because it eventually becomes what you know and believe in. This is why spending time in the Bible and doing devotions is so crucial! Set the example for your children.
30. Care about those around you. Do you check in with those closest to you? Or are you focused on your own journey? What about those in your community? Pursue the small opportunities to make someone’s day. Start with a simple smile to a stranger. In the small town we lived in, in Minnesota, everyone waved at everyone. Try doing that sometime!
31. Don’t let others tell you who to be and what to have. Let what God says in the Bible, tell you who to be and what to have. It will become very clear.
32. Let go of expectations, but live expectantly. This is not what I thought my life would look like. Not one iota. But around every corner is a new opportunity to give glory to God.
33. Salvation is the greatest gift of all. I want to continue to learn how to live this truth out in my daily life.
34. Seek truth. Truth is something we discover, for God has already set truth in place. Something may look or sound right, but it may not be truth. I want to continue growing in knowing who God is so that I can think rightly about Him and the world around me.
35. Pray throughout the day. Live each day as a constant conversation with God. Start small. My favorite conversations with God are while I’m driving, getting groceries, doing laundry, taking a walk, and cleaning the house. God is everywhere, so choose to see him in the mundane too.
36. Obey. I learned at a young age to obey my parents, which created a life of little trouble for me. Call me a goody two shoes. But being taught to obey at an early age, made obeying God more tangible. Obey at all costs, even when it doesn’t make sense. Follow His will, even when you don’t know where it’s leading. He knows best, just like our parents do.
37. Don’t just agree with what the Bible says. Do what it says. That is a living testimony.
38. God doesn’t need me, but chooses to use me. Everyday we are given a mission; live it out.
39. Share your faith. I’ve had countless opportunities to talk about my faith in a hospital setting. Sometimes it sticks, sometimes it doesn’t. Plant the seed and the rest is up to God!
40. Share your story. Don’t be shy. Don’t hold back. God has given you a story to tell. You have purpose here on this earth and you never know whose life will be touched by you simply opening up about the life God has given you.

I often tell my doctors that I’m living till I’m 90! I’m sure inside they are chuckling and thinking, yeah right. Have you seen your “problem” list on your medical records? I sure have. It’s a whole page long. And God has sustained me through each one of them. I still may be fighting some of them, but no statistic or medical diagnoses changes the number of my days. My sovereign God is in charge of it all and I rest in the knowledge that He will continue to use me until He sees my work as done. So here’s to another 50 years! This isn’t what I thought my 40th birthday would look like, going to a cancer center for chemo, but…

OUR STORIES HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN!