A Gift of God’s Grace Today!

Judging by the picture, you can about guess what test result came in today!

Last week Tuesday I had my first bone marrow biopsy after my bone marrow transplant in January. I’ve had several before, with my first bout of leukemia, but as always, there is some angst leading up to the results, not knowing if everything you went through, worked. I had 2 rounds of chemo before my BMT, 4 days of high intensity chemo and anti-rejection meds before my transplant, and then received the transplant, and have been recovering ever since. It has been a crazy time of life, but we have just been praying this gives me MANY more years of life!

Today I had an appointment at the cancer clinic, but at that time, we still had not heard back about the test to see if there was any sign of my type of leukemia in my body. The bone marrow test results that had come in thus far, all looked good, but the “big” one, we were still waiting on.

This afternoon, I received a call from my nurse coordinator and when I heard her voice, within seconds, I got all sweaty. I didn’t realize I had been hanging on to that much emotion regarding this test. I could tell by the sound of her voice that it was good news, and sure enough IT WAS! There is not ONE inkling of any cancer cell in my body, that we know of at this point! The number came back at 0.00000!!! Zero is my new favorite number :).

I immediately started to cry. Not that we had any reason to think the cancer was back, but there was MUCH relief in hearing that it was clear. If I’m being honest, I am scared to be hopeful. The memories from a year ago are all too fresh, when I learned that I was relapsing, after going through 6 months of treatment. It was from one of these tests, that we learned the chemo didn’t fully work. I have been really working on trying to release this to God, and it can be a daily challenge, while still trying to recover from the transplant itself. It is always “in your face”, so how do you not let it control you? Something, like I said, I am challenged with daily.

And one thing I have to believe too, is who God is. Yes, He allowed me to relapse and go through a journey we never saw coming, and yet God is also a HEALER. He has shown me that time and TIME again in my life, and yet I still struggle to see Him fully as Healer too. That is who my God is. And I want to trust that He will heal me once and for all from this leukemia. But like I said, I am scared to be hopeful. And so we just entrust each step of this journey to Him, trusting His promises, knowing that what He will lead us to, He will lead us through.

Today was a reminder that my God is not only Healer, but Provider and Waymaker. We don’t deserve these results. It is all grace. We don’t deserve His guiding hand, but He continues to extend it to us. We don’t deserve His healing, but He continues to show us His mighty power and sovereignty. Please join us in praising God for this victory today and may it continue to spur our family on as we trust Him with the next steps of this journey, but also rest knowing God is healing. And to believe that in our hearts too.

Again, thank you for continuing to walk this journey with us! We pray that in some way, you will see the goodness of God in your own story too, as you watch it unfold. There will be hard times and even suffering, but the Lord gives and takes away, and BLESSED BE HIS NAME!