A Transformational God, Not Transactional

When I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time 3 years ago, my mind immediately went to, “What didn’t I do the first time?”

If I’m being completely raw, real, and honest, it was easy to let my mind think that because it felt like God was giving me a do-over for the lessons I didn’t learn the first time. What didn’t I learn the first time? What lesson did I not get? What did I miss? I blamed myself, that somehow, I didn’t “do enough”, and so therefore, God allowed me to get cancer a second time.

I can’t tell you how WRONG that theology and way of thinking is! And yet, I can still find myself thinking those thoughts. That if only I do “X” or “do more”, THEN maybe hardship will leave; then maybe my heart failure will go away and God wouldn’t allow cancer back into my life.

My friend, this is NOT our God. Our God is NOT transactional, where “if I do “this” (pray everyday, tithe, go to church, am kind, etc.), then God has to do “this” (heal me, create success, bless, etc.”). This isn’t relationship, but vending machine or transactional spirituality. It’s easy to think that if we do “X”, then we will get the outcome we’ve been praying for. But our obedience to God doesn’t mean our lives will be problem-free (John 16:33). In fact, we are missing the mark – we are missing the relationship.

Our relationship with God is based on faith and trust, not on our circumstances. Our relationship with God is based on His unconditional love for us. Our relationship with God is all grace. God just wants US; circumstances and what God allows and doesn’t allow, aren’t what define our relationship with Him. There’s nothing we can do to cause him to love us any more. And there’s nothing we can do to cause him to love us any less. God loves us regardless of what we do. How refreshing is that? This type of relationship is TRANSFORMATIONAL.

So what about those times when something tragic or traumatizing happens? God sometimes uses difficult circumstances as the means to which God calls us to Himself – this is transformation. But that’s where the choice is up to us. Do we run to Him or away from Him? Did I question God “why”, the night I lied in my hospital bed after being diagnosed with cancer? You bet I did. But you know what all my questions did? Led me to Him. And did God show me the why? You bet He did. I could now give you countless reasons. Did I know those answers that night? Nope. But over time, did God reveal His greater plan to me? Of course He did because that’s who He is (Romans 8). God was slowly transforming my LIFE.

God isn’t a transactional God. God just wants YOU, in any and every circumstance. In the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t wait for the next shoe to drop. Simply start today, by running full fledged into Him. Then when those difficult times come, you will find yourself continuing to do the same. RUNNING TO HIM.

I don’t know what the rest of my life will entail. I have no idea what God has planned for me on my way to eternal glory with Him! But whatever it is, God’s got his CRAZY plan and I can’t wait to see it continue to unfold. It may include some deep grief, but deep joy too, because that’s who our God is – allowing circumstances to transform us into images of Him. If cancer taught me one thing (which it actually taught me many lessons), it’s that both can exist at the same time.

I’m going to end with this truth:

Proverbs 3:5-6 says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

This, my friend, is all GRACE.