What To Say?

What do you say?

This is something I have struggled with from the beginning.

I struggle with questions.
Why?
Because I don’t even know the answer to half of them :)!

I struggle with:
Anything new?
How are you?
Is life good?
What have you been up to?

People I randomly run into (like those I don’t necessarily have a relationship with, but only know there name), I have a difficult time answering these questions to. And quite honestly, sometimes just people in general.

I guess I am not quite sure how to explain this, but this is something I have thought a lot about over the past few months. How do we answer some of those “non-chalant” questions? Let’s be honest: if a stranger walked up to me and asked how are you today and I told them everything that has happened, let’s throw up the “awkward” sign and just move on :)! But really, then what? Do I lie? Coming from a girl with a guilty conscience, I surprise myself by just saying “fine” because honestly, at that moment, I am fine to just say “fine.”

Dan and I are still living with the day to day emotions of everything. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we still don’t know where God wants us, so we feel we are in this “lull.” We have our ideas of where we would like to be, but until God makes those clear, we just have to be patient. Quite frankly, I am getting impatient :). I’ve been having a few conversations with God about that! I guess I am ready to tell others what’s next – but I know in my heart, that God has not revealed that to us, and is teaching us so much through that.

He is teaching me how to cope. He is teaching me how to acclamate myself back into “normalcy” realizing that our life now, is the “new normal.” But I am still adjusting to that. That is why I sometimes wonder what to say.

I don’t like to see what happened to us as “baggage” because honestly, God has lifted so much of the “baggage” off of us. Recently I told someone who I didn’t really know, the jist of what has happened in our life (b/c they asked what’s new) and by their response, it just made it awkward. I suppose that is why I enjoy blogging! People can comprehend it all on their own timing – they don’t need to say anything. If someone came up to me and told me that what happened to us, happened to them, I honestly don’t know what I would say. So people, I understand there is just nothing to say. I know I’ve said that before, but I’ve learned once again, be careful when you ask “how are you?” I am horrible at that and ask it as a “greeting” instead of a relationship builder. Am I really ready to listen? Do I REALLY care? I need to keep working on this myself – if I ask the question “how are you,” be prepared for ANY answer!

We are doing okay. We really are. Because of God, I believe considering the circumstances, God has absolutely carried us! We are so excited again, to see what He has in store for us! We have had a chance to read books (I know, SHOCKER here for Kristin!), talk, relax (somewhat), and just process. Process everything going on, so that we do know what to say.

This is all coming from a girl who is still trying to figure it all out, but is eager to see it all come together! This all is just another piece of the giant puzzle called The Sterks Life!