What The First Day of School Taught Me

Today we had our first day of school!

It seems as if as quickly as summer came, it went, but there is something about routine. Having a schedule. Knowing what’s coming up. But this year, more than any, our future seems even more unknown.

This year has the potential to have many ups and downs. I often wish I just knew what God was up to because I can so easily make leukemia my idol. So often we think of idols as something we spend lots of time investing ourselves in, in a “good” way (in our minds). Well, even things such as medical, relational, or emotional worries, can become an idol. And for me, that can be my leukemia. The what ifs cloud my mind. I can’t help but wonder when “the day” will come and I need to fight again. I think about what events I will have to miss. Not seeing people in person, due to treatments. The ability to get through my days feeling good. When will it all happen? Oh how leukemia can become my idol!

The thing is, I don’t need to know about my tomorrows because that is not what I’m called to put my efforts towards. All I need is the faith and courage to walk through simply today. I don’t know what God has designed for my future in his infinite wisdom, but all I know is that the Bible promises that it will be GOOD. Maybe not my definition of good, but that’s not what matters. Only God’s vision does. And I just pray his vision becomes mine. For God is the only one who can look down the path ahead and see that it’s beautifully laid out according to his perfect will. Now it’s my turn to walk in and through it, not making idols along the way, but to keep my eyes focused on him, the author and perfecter of my faith.

Knowing what’s coming isn’t going to help, but only cause me to worry more. Walking through the halls of our school today, filled my soul in a way I knew I had missed last year. It felt right. I knew I was right where I was called to be. TODAY. Many times today, I found myself grateful, humbled, and with an extra pep in my step, knowing God has called me to this right now.

This year I want to live my life not in fear of the future, but one of an open heart that is ready and willing to do whatever God calls me to. And I am no different from you. God calls each of us to be open to God’s leading in our lives and to live each day in surrender to him. We can rest in his goodness, that no matter what comes our way, his perfect ways have given us every reason to live confidently in his plans for us. God cares what we are going through, what he will lead us to, and what he will lead us through. And this year, I’m determined to trust that care.

Watching Mazy walk to her locker, hang up her backpack, create her own little space of all the things she loves inside her locker door, so eager for 3rd grade, reminded me of the gift today was. Being able to experience the first day of school. To see the kids again, giving hugs to those who wanted or needed them. Seeing familiar faces, catching up on our summers, and just realizing we are all right where God wants us to be. And I see that in Mazy too. For God too, has a special plan for her life, like he does all of ours. And I, as her parent, get a front row seat, by the grace of God. What an honor and gift.

Maybe you have kids or grandkids heading back to school. Maybe you are starting a new season of life with fewer kids at home, more at school, that has left you wondering, what’s next? Whatever your season of life may look like, don’t let the fear of the future become an idol. Don’t let the what-ifs become the center of your thoughts. Recognize today as a pure gift from God, given to you, for you to appreciate, treasure, and live for him.

So here’s to year 3 at school, Mazy in 3rd grade, and a year that we know, God will do wondrous things in his infinite wisdom and love.